The Mindset Shift That Ended My 20 Year Struggle With Anxiety
I knew I needed to find a way back to me, but I couldn’t ignore all of the experiences I had suffered through. I wanted to know why I went through what I did, and in studying Eastern philosophy and Buddhist tradition, it became clear that life is a classroom and everything is our teacher.
I learned the more we resist life and push against what is, the more we struggle. The outside world will do everything it can to keep us hooked on the, “You’re not good enough” narrative. But when we focus outside of ourselves on what others think about us, or what is wrong and needs to be changed or fixed, we don’t give ourselves a chance to go within and honor our true self.
One day, I found myself trapped in an intense worry spiral, clicking headlines and diving deep into the dark, obsessive news rabbit hole of trauma and drama. My social media feed had been full of negativity and blame, and the news stations were spreading more doom and gloom.
As I logged off, my energy plummeted. I felt helpless, but in that moment my inner voice said, Go to your bookshelf, and then, the most interesting thing happened. I went directly to my big blue book, A Course in Miracles. I had only ever skimmed the pages, never really letting the content sink in—but this day was different.
My inner voice said, Open the book! And to my surprise, the page I opened up to was lesson 31: “I am not a victim to the world I see.” In that instant, I felt a huge wave of relief wash over me, as a calm, loving presence took over.