5 Signs Your Love Has Turned Into An Unhealthy Emotional Attachment
Emotional attachment is a normal aspect of any relationship and its growth. We are constantly moved to connect with others who tend to provide us with a safety net, comfort, and validation. A healthy relationship – romantic or no – depends on the satisfaction of emotional needs.
But, it can be tricky too. There is a fine line between healthy and unhealthy attachment. How do you know your reliance on your partner for the fulfillment of your emotional needs is healthy or unhealthy?
Many people cross this line without even realizing it. Healthy emotional attachment aims to find the balance between meeting your emotional needs by yourself and by your partner. Sometimes, love can turn into an unhealthy emotional attachment.
In this article, I’ll be helping you explore the signs of unhealthy emotional attachment in a relationship and how to focus on healthy emotional needs while getting rid of attachment issues.
5 Signs Of Unhealthy Emotional Attachment
It’s okay to love and want your partner to fulfill your needs but obsessive behavior can become intrusive and can turn into unhealthy emotional attachment. Here are some signs of unhealthy emotional attachment that you should be aware of:
1. Your Feel Incomplete Without Your Partner
A healthy relationship has interdependency; when you enjoy spending time with your partner and you feel content when they are neat. However, this interdependency can turn into co-dependence when you begin to feel “incomplete” without them around.
In a healthy partnership, you enjoy spending time with your partner but you enjoy spending time on your own as well. When you begin to cling to your partner and ask for more time with each other than apart, it can be a sign of unhealthy emotional attachment.
2. You Struggle With Negative Thoughts When Your Partner Is Not With You
If you struggle with an endless downward spiral of negative and intrusive thoughts and feelings, including suicidal thoughts, when your partner is not with you, then it’s another sign of unhealthy emotional attachment in a relationship.
When your partner is not with you, you struggle with anxious thoughts and overwhelming emotions. All you need is to see them, hear their voice, or touch them. This is a form of unhealthy emotional attachment.
3. You Obsess Over Your Partner And What They Do
What are they doing? Where are they? With Whom? Obsessing over where your partner is or what they are doing can be a sign of trust issues. Now with the advancement in technology, knowing where someone is at all times is possible and if you’re guilty of doing the same, then it’s a sign you’re struggling with unhealthy emotional attachment.
It’s okay to be curious about where your loved one is but if you find yourself stalking your partner’s social media, their ex’s social media, year old posts, etc.., then your love might’ve turned into an unhealthy attachment.
4. You Have Selfish Feelings And Thoughts Regarding Your Partner
Jealousy is common in relationships but when that jealousy turns into selfish feelings and thoughts, then it is a sign of unhealthy emotional attachment. If you’re experiencing these selfish thoughts and feelings regarding your partner then it’s a red flag you should not ignore.
Unhealthy emotional attachment is selfish and hard to accept but if you’re the one turning into the toxic partner, then step back and reflect. If you feel you need to let go of your partner then do so.
5. You Find It Difficult To Let Go
Another sign of an unhealthy emotional attachment in a relationship is when you choose to stay in the relationship even when it triggers depression, trauma, or anxiety. If you find yourself sacrificing your mental health just to stay with your partner, then it’s a sign of unhealthy emotional attachment.
It is important here to step back and reflect on what the relationship is doing to your mental health. Even if it feels okay to stay in the relationship, in the long run, it can be harmful to your overall health.
Focusing On Healthy Emotional Attachment
Emotional attachment or emotional connection is something that we all need in our lives. But, there is a fine line between healthy and unhealthy emotional attachment that you should be aware of.
If you feel you have an unhealthy attachment to your partner, here’s what you can do:
1. Understand Yourself First
The first thing you need to do is understand your motives for entering a relationship. Are you agreeing to a relationship because you’re alone? Or are you entering this relationship for another selfish reason? Understand yourself first before you say yes to a relationship.
2. Don’t Rush
If you’re prone to dive headfirst into unhealthy relationship habits, then you should try to take things slow. Attachment can be possessive. Don’t enter a relationship if you’re experiencing selfish thoughts regarding your potential partner.
3. Make Time For Yourself
Doing things with your partner is fun but remember to spend some time with yourself. “Me time” is as important as spending time with your partner. You might want to engage in hobbies or interests different from your partner’s. We all need our space, remember that.
4. Make Time For Others
Spending time with yourself is important but so is giving time to your friends and family members. As much as you love your partner, don’t forget to show love and respect to the people who came before them.
5. Ask For Support
While there are many ways you can restore a healthy connection with your partner, you can also ask for support from others. If you don’t want to rely on your support system, you can always reach out to a professional counselor for support.
Relationships Are Messy, But…
Each relationship is unique. Understanding your emotions and your emotional needs can help you understand where you stand in your relationship. Please remember that you are not the only one struggling with unhealthy emotional attachments.
Help is available. Talking to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist can help you focus on the healthy aspect of your relationship needs.
While relationships complete us in a way, being alone does not. Remember that you are still your number one priority. If you have a healthy emotional, mental, spiritual connection with yourself, you’ll find it easy to connect with others healthily.
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