THE DUALITY OF BEING…
One of my horses and greatest teachers, has two distinct personalities that reside in his body. One is Evening News ex-racehorse nut job guy, and the other is Teddy the calm, love guru. The truth is, we all have different personas that reside within us. When Teddy feels threatened, uncertain and insecure Evening News comes out. When Evening News shows up it’s challenging to break through his fear to get to Teddy.
The fear makes him check out because he feels unsafe, which throws him into survival mode.
I get that mode.
It’s easy to get lost in fear when triggered and can be difficult to find the way back to feeling calm and secure.
Like Teddy, I’ve experienced a tremendous amount of abuse and trauma throughout my life which has caused me to feel uncertain and unsafe. Even though I know the truth that I am safe and loved in this moment, it can be difficult to believe that truth. Especially in the moments my fear, doubt and uncertainty have been triggered.
My horses and I have had substantial life changes lately that are triggering all our insecurities and fears.
I moved into a new home and until I can get my barn built, my horses are being boarded 35 miles away from me. This might not sound like a big deal, but not having them with me on my property has been extremely difficult emotionally and physically for all of us.
This is the first time in over a decade that I haven’t seen Teddy multiple times a day.
I know that its temporary and that I’m doing everything I can to bring them home but it’s still really tough on all of us.
Significant life changes can, and do, trigger all of our insecurities and fears. That’s a normal reaction. Granted an extremely uncomfortable reaction but a very normal one.
This is the reality of the duality of being.
Allowing yourself to feel the discomfort, acknowledging that this moment in life is less than perfect, knowing that everything is okay and will be okay.
As scary and unpleasant as life can be at times, you have everything you need inside of you to find your way through the darkness of your fear back into the light of the truth of your ability and resourcefulness to overcome any and all obstacles in your path.
I learned long ago how to meet Evening News, where he is, to get through Teddy’s fear to bring him back to his calm, love guru self.
The power is in staying calm, being present in the moment and allowing both of us to feel our emotions in order to let them go. In learning how to bring Teddy back when Evening News takes, over I’ve learned how to be calm, nurturing, fully present and allow myself to feel all of my feelings in order to find my way back from my version of Evening News nut job guy to Teddy the love guru.