Why Things Really do Happen for a Reason

I had what seemed like the perfect life.  The big house, the marriage, the kids, and the job. On social media and to our neighbors it looked perfect, but we all know what looks perfect is not. Only a select few knew how I really felt, what I was contemplating. A divorce.

The Divorce

I thought about it for years but struggled with how the kids would take it and how would I survive on my own. I could have stayed, but I would have stayed for all the wrong reasons. And that I couldn’t have. So, at the age of 41, I was officially divorced, renting a small home, and starting over again. This was not how I envisioned my early forty’s with three kids. I dreamed of having summer cookouts with all of our friends and the firepit at night with the kids making smores and us laughing with blankets shielding us from the mosquitoes.

The Second Blow

But here I was, alone, scared and scraping every dime together to get back and make everyone think that I was okay. It didn’t take long for things to fall into place for me in my love life. I fell madly in love- fast, very fast. It was as if I was living in a dream. I was traveling back and forth in a long-distance relationship and I was so happy. It got to a point that the flight attendants began to know my name because I flew on their flight so often. I was building a new life, with a new family, friends, and a second home. I felt as if this was God’s plan for me.

Unfortunately, it was not. There was another blow to what I thought my plan should be. I am not ready to share what happened. I may not ever be ready to share that story, but there I was now 43 years old, canceling a wedding, heartbroken, devastated, in debt, and wondering what to do.

The Answer

After that I questioned everything. Why wasn’t anything going according to the plan? This was not supposed to happen. But actually, it was.

When we are in the middle of chaos and heartache it’s nearly impossible to see through the fog. I remember people telling me that everything happens for a reason. I would think okay well then what is it? I was waiting. Waiting for something good or magical to come of this horrible circumstance. But nothing did. For months I was going through the motions, trying to look like I was happy and successful. Yet, I was breaking inside. I read dozens of self help books, I went to therapy, I wrote, I cried. I did what everyone is supposed to do as you work to put yourself back together.

But slowly, very slowly things started to come together. Little opportunities turned into bigger opportunities, my confidence began to come back and I was finally beginning to see the light. It didn’t happen overnight. It took a few years. About two and a half to be exact for me to fully see that everything I had gone through was purposeful. I was meant to go through all of that to get where I am now. If I had not experienced the pain, I would have never built up my self-confidence to pursue my dreams of a network anchor. If I had not become a network anchor I wouldn’t have as much content to put in my book. And the list goes on and on.

Things never work out according to the plan. But they actually do, just at a different time.

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